Fear is her name-o

Today seems to have passed at light speed, and somewhere in the inertia of that metaphor, my head got left behind. I hung out with a very prestigous fellow today, on the ideer that we were going to collaborate on just how the poetry thing goes, and while this did happen to a certain extent, there was also much pleasant visiting on behalf of Powermann  .

Also today, China the cat appeared. Now, generally, I’m opposed to the naming of a cat by way of a continent, but this cat is Queen Shit, so it seems suitable. Hannalore has been reduced to a terrified tail of a thing by this lean arrogant bitch-cat. Luckily, she’s only here until tomorrow, in which time hopefully, they manage to not kill each other.  And to her credit, Hanna has been very vocal about her hatred, even though she hasn’t backed it up with brute force yet, whereas China is silent and won’t let anything or anyone touch her. But still so arrogant. Psshh….

And last but not least, the highlight of my day– actually, maybe the month. A very embarrassed looking and innocuous Telus employee came into the store this evening with a brown package for me, and dropped it off.  Lo and behold, yellow lilies! Again, this calls for filled pants and shock. AND THEN, after I had proved my ineptness at trimming stems off flowers, and Powermann was doing it for me, the phone rang, and le boy was on the other end, prompting a gushing of gratitude on my behalf, AND THEN…he walked through the door and hung up his cellphone and gave me a big hug. So yeah….I lost my composure of course, as I am wont to do when absolutely flustered by a completely sweet and romantic thoughtful gesture. I think I’m still losing my composure. He’s amazing. And the Telus employee went home $5 richer.

So he and I are going to play pool tomorrow. I’m going to have a very hard time curbing my enthusiasm, but a not so hard time kicking his butt. Or touching it. Whatever comes first. Fuck.

La!

Flummoxia

Very very important things to discuss….very.

“The Date” on Friday went well. Actually, it went exceedingly well. It took every ounce of energy I had to not squeal like a little girl because of the things he thinks, says and does. We’re both a little shy though of each other, and thus make each other nervous still, but I think that’s because we’re still playing the “getting to know you” game. Or, “initial information exchange” as he would say. I <3 smart people!

He came and visited me at work yesterday as well (easy for him to do because he works at City Hall), which was really nice, but wow, that boy makes me lose my shit. Any sense of composure that I may have for the majority of the day just vanishes as soon as he smiles at me, or winks at me, or anything. And it’s totally reciprocal, which is awesome. I make that kid lose his shit, and it’s absolutely adorable.

But yeah….c’est infatuation, c’est bien!

If only the rest of my life were as rosy. I can’t complain, but there have been weird things afoot lately that I’m having a hard time understanding, regarding a female aqquaintance in the building.

Stupidly restless

I’ve eaten crap all day, and thus my mind is reeling with moods and hyper-activity. I walked around the city center today for roughly two hours in the freshly fallen snow. It was beautiful, and my favorite kind of cold. Call me sick, but I loved it, and the solitude was nice.

However, there is always a little part of me that thinks of how much nicer it would be to be strolling along hand in hand with someone under a dark snowy night sky, looking over the riverbanks. Instead, I walked by myself and wondered if I am really just doomed to be friends with people. Lots and lots of people.

This said, I wonder what would happen if you could fast forward to a  moment where  you actually had found romance or  love…the time in between that you missed…what would you miss by skipping it? Knowing yourself, comes as a pretty good answer, but at this point, I feel like I know myself too well sometimes, and it leaves me with the assumption, along with the proof surrounding me, that the more you know yourself, the harder it is to know other people in the intimate sense. I don’t know. It could be utter bullshit as well. I’m fretting, can you tell?

Orphan Annie wants your food

Today was a very interesting day (“Dear diary, after I purged my thanksgiving dinner into the toilet, me and the girls went and found this adorable gucci bag at the mall…”).

Going to work one hour early was disconcerting, as I was still quite fuzzy from the night before. There was dancing, much booze and satisfying silliness levels were achieved. The mating dance of the paradise bird, I should mention, is akin to an erratically disfunctioning radar dish, in case anyone is interested, though that visual feature is restricted to only one type of paradise bird. It is hellaciously fun to replicate on goth night at new city while the mind-numbing industrial pulsates around you. We are total nerds, and it showed.

Work itself was a whole nother thing though. I was expecting it to be a really dull sort of slow day, and it totally proved itself not to be. First, a regular came to say good bye to me. Living in the city has sort of messed with his head, because he got into a lifestyle he couldn’t handle (ie- drinking a lot, and general badness), and so today he returned to Highlevel. But before he went, he came to say goodbye to me. It was startling, because I hadn’t thought of myself as particularly memorable to my customers, but evidently I’d left an impression with him, because he came and gave me a hug, and thanked me for my kindness. I being the sucker I am, gave him some food to take on the bus, and ruminated for a few hours on the wrack and ruin this will cause me financially– spending money I don’t have on being nice to strangers.

AND THEN…. one other regular of mine came down and bought various sundries, and we talked about thanksgiving, and she left to go tend her turkey. She returned a few hours later, and ended up bringing me a plate of thanksgiving dinner. Now, when you’re a big dork like me, you get sort of emotional over acts like this. I almost cried, seriously, but didn’t because I felt really rather blessed. Which got me to thinking and cemented in my mind that no matter what, whether there is personal gain or not, such as the karma-guided turkey dinner, I’ll always be kind to people if I can be. It was really touching, and not in a “no no, not my naughty parts” sort of way. It made me wish that more people could be like that. Just genuinely kind, and not patronizing about it. And so, on this day of thanksgiving, I was truly thankful for for something– the kindness of strangers.

On an unrelated note, although also brilliantly cool, I met a really interesting man today who works security related manners at City Hall. We ended up having a way-too-long conversation about writing and books that violated the parameters of his break, and he gave me his phone number. That’s right folks…a boy, gave me, KJC, his phone number. I almost fell over in my filled pants. Now, this isn’t to say that I don’t ever get asked out, but usually the people doing the asking in the store are a) homeless b) addicted to drugs c) both d) intoxicated at the time. So yeah, I’m usually viewed as “easily conquered” or “the nice one,” not, “the hot one” (re: Vanessa). Chances are that this dude is married, and has kids, or is divorced and has kids and intimacy issues because his wife wouldn’t give him head or something, but I can still do the happy dance while I remain in utter ignorance of the truths I don’t want to know right now.

In other news….the past week was the first part of my practicum. I don’t want to talk about it too much, for fear of jinxing it, but my school is awesome. I really lucked out with the school and the mentor teacher– they’re amazing.

Update: There are two prospects now….I’m flummoxed.

Catmas